Kiss me once and then insistently call me a whore.  What are you trying to do?

What if I don't want to be that strong and resilient girl you think I am and all I want to do is curl up with someone who knows me (good and bad) and just cry because it's all gotten to be too much.

I wish my little mind would stop reeling so I could get some sleep. I'm going to crash & burn real quick but it's totally worth it. I wish I wasn't such a responsible adult - I'd be on the first plane out of here and crashing on Tabby's floor.

Fine. Fine! I'm sure all the people who I haven't talked to in a year are wondering what the hell I'm doing with myself. And the people who i do talk to are bitching at me cuz I never update. Anyways. On to the last 8 months of my life

I finished up at Pitt, skin of my teeth goddamnit, but I have a degree in rocks. Moved home shortly thereafter and it's been trying but the rent's free. I got a job working for an engineering firm in Baltimore, hated it. Quit that after 2 weeks. I was out of work for another week and then landed in a law firm downtown. The people are great but sometimes I wonder if I'm getting anything right. There's some bullshit but not a whole bunch and the hours are insane. But I'm making a decent check, so that makes it a little worthwhile.

I had some ups and downs with friends right after I moved home but it's all basically worked out now. I hear from Britt when he calls me and work too much to care. I've made it out to Pittsburgh a few times over since I moved and will be back in early June. I don't know what I'd do without my IBK brothers, even now. Especially my little. And my big! who had a baby a few months back. I got to meet little Adriana and see her and DJ. That was great. It seems everyone's getting married and having kids - I know of 10 pregnant or new mothers and I'm sure that will rise. I've been to 3 weddings of my friends and more are coming up. It's insane. Tabby and I are doing as much of a summer concert series that we can manage considering I'm in DC and she's moving to Atlanta!! Yeah, I thought she'd be in Pittsburgh forever too. But I'm beyond happy for her and can't wait to get down there and check out the joint now that I'm working and have money to do such things.

I went a little stir-crazy a semester out so I've started on a certificate in Cartography and Geographic Information Systems at MC. I like it a lot so far but unfortunately there's nothing I can take over the summer. Not even the Bio class I wanted to take for "fun" cuz I'm insane. It's cool, I can catch up on all the scientific articles I've been stacking up and a few books too ;).

Dustin's pretty much off the face of my Earth, he popped into my little head the other week and I tried calling him but no dice. It's been at least a year since I've talked to him and probably a few since I've seen him. His cousin Pat found me on myspace and rumor has it D's happy and probably getting married soon. I'm happy for him. It's a little weird being the one before The One but whatcha gonna do. Sean's around when he's bored - it's cool to see him when he makes time for me. I've met a few guys here and there but no one stuck around so far, I'm doing my thing and seeing what happens - not really looking for anything but not adverse to whatever happens. I've found that's the attitude that's brought me the best luck ;).

Day to day it's pretty normal around here - get up, go to work, work is crazy or boring with no in-between, either work late or meet a friend for drinks or come home and play Wii with my nephew. He's an awesome kid, we've been spending a lot of time together (he's 9 now, yikes) partially cuz I'm schooling him in older stuff on the Wii (Super Mario Bros and World, Sonic) and partially cuz I need an excuse to build with Legos. The kid's bribing me out to WV to check out this rock he found, it's pretty awesome. He got a question right in school the other day because of a conversation we had about rocks. I love it. Speaking of which, I better get rollin' - I'm headed out there today to check out this rock and see my sister's new house - she just bought a house!! So I'm getting a bigger room in this one which is pretty sweet. Not gonna lie. Life is good.

But you can call me alum.

Warm summer night. Country concert. It rained the same, my hair dried the same. Between that and the dream I had where you held me and kissed me like we were "trying it again" all over again I'm having a hard time.


I couldn't wait to get home tonight and shower that sensation from my skin. It's fleeting - hopefully I'll wake up and forget your face all over again.

I am not a pretty girl.


Who the fuck was I trying to fool?

The more time passes, the harder I have to think to remember the good times. This is getting a whole lot easier. I no longer have the urge to write a huge "be all, end all" letter, those thoughts have just faded. This getting better thing is a lot more natural then it used to be.


It's cute that you have to keep me around just a little bit, but it's getting way old.

Every time I hear that stupid "i like to move it move it" song I have the urge to watch Madagascar. Crazy weird animals and their funny songs. Sigh.

Dated Outside Your Race: Innocent
Given a Hickey: Guilty
Had a One Night Stand: Innocent
Hooked Up on the First Date: Guilty
Singing in the Shower: Innocent
Gotten a Hickey: Guilty

Spit in Someone's Drink: Innocent
Played with Barbie: Guilty
Made Someone Cry: Guilty
Opened your Christmas Presents Early: Innocent
Lied to a Friend: Guilty
Seen the Goonies More Than 10 Times: Innocent
Played a Computer Game for More Than 5 Hours: Innocent
Ran Through the Sprinklers Naked: Innocent
Ate Food That Fell on the Floor: Guilty
Went Outside Naked: Guilty
Got Caught Cheating: Innocent
Got Caught Having Sex: Guilty
Flashed Somebody: Guilty
Mooned Somebody: Guilty
Been On Stage: Guilty
Been On Stage Naked or Close To It: Innocent
Been In A Parade: Guilty

Been In A School Play: Guilty
Drank Beer: Guilty
Gotten Detention: Guilty
Been On A Plane: Guilty
Been On A Cruise: Innocent
Broken Into A House: Innocent
Gotten A Tattoo: Innocent
Gotten Piercings: Guilty
Gotten Into A Fist Fight: Guilty

Gotten Into A Shouting Match: Guilty
Swallowed Sea/Pool Water: Guilty
Spun Yourself In Circles to Get Dizzy on Purpose: Guilty
Laughed So Hard it Hurt: Guilty
Tripped On Your Own Feet: Guilty
Had Sex With More Than One Person In a Day: Innocent
Cried Yourself to Sleep: Guilty
Cried in Public: Guilty
Thrown Up in Public: Guilty

Been in Love: Guilty
Lied to Your Parents: Guilty
Skipped Class: Guilty
Cried So Hard You Threw Up: Guilty

I hate throwing pictures away.


I came across the three pictures I took when I was in Daytona. I'll never forget how alone I felt, how unwanted I was. How I cried myself to sleep every fucking night I was down there because you resented me for showing up. You found reasons to stay at work late instead of coming home and hanging out with your "best friend" and for that I will never forgive you. Your cousins were better to me. You didn't even hold me until the day I left. Maybe you were thankful that I'd be gone? Never again.

It's time to admit something:

I regret going to Daytona. I'm sure that made my mom happy.

I like this one, so do it. And I'll actually do it back this time. Ugh. I need to catch up with my comments.

1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my LJ:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favourite place to be:
11. favourite lyric:
12. best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your LJ so I can tell you what I think of you.

Sort by song:
Number of songs: 2570
First song: Alkaline Trio - '97
Last song: Brian Setzer Orchestra - Zoot Suit Riot

Sort by time:
Shortest Song: Clerks - Jay's Chant
Longest song: Steve Lawler - Essential Mix live at Passion

Sort by artist
First Artist: 'n Sync
Last Artist: The Young Dubliners

Sort by album
First Album: Metallica - "...And Justice For All"
Last Album: 311 - "You Wouldn't Believe (single release)

Sort By Number of Plays
Most Plays: Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight (46)
Least Plays: 2 Live Crew - Shake that Ass, Bitch (0)

Search
"Sex": 21
"Death": 6
"Love": 89
"You": 289
"Heart": 24

Dear Overactive Imagination,
I hate you.
Thanks!
Love,
Lizi